10:36 pm PST. It would be sweet to start this off with, we did it. We wrote a card, bought flowers, baked cupcakes, and blew out a candle the moment we listened to “Conceited” by Remy Ma and “Conceited” by SZA and “Bossy” by Kelis and celebrated our legitimacy in law before submitting the state application. We swallowed past the fear, shame, guilt, who do you think you are, you might be in over your head, maybe you should wait long, and did it any way. Yet, when I wrote out the date, I thought about how sad it is to reckon with the reality of our current state of affairs. First, rest in peace, Renee Good, and rest in peace, Alex Pretti. It still feels like such a fog, the fact that there are thugs hired by the federal government who are attacking people on the street, walking away from dead bodies without any sort of accountability, let along self-reckoning with the sin of taking another life without justification. During the 2020 demonstrations, I observed an uprising of unqualified health workers who were responding to the spike of mental health cases due to far more than feeling alone, fear for their loved ones, on top the uncertainty of resources, health, safety, increase in police brutality, etc, etc etc. And I don’t know about you other women of color, but, I can’t help but notice that a lot of these ICE agents that are fucking around acting bold and almighty, are looking very Black and Brown. In the summer, I’m ashamed to admit this, but while I was watching along live footage of demonstrations in Los Angeles, I was messaging with a Black dude on Hinge, who worked for Customs and Border Protection. I thought to myself, um, this is a red flag, right? I brought it up to him, “Yikes, it’s fuck ICE.” He said, “You ever seen smuggled on Hulu? We ain’t ICE, we stoppin drug traffickers.” Nah, “I ain’t see that show. And Fuck the cops. You a snitch.” I said it to my friend, this is like dating a cop, right? My friends know how to politicize, energize, sexualize, meaningfully explain how laying with the enemy makes you a dumb bitch so do better! And now, the agency that has murdered one of our comrades is a fucking CBP agent. And it wasn’t my first recognition, because I attended a training for keeping our neighbors safe and they told us how important it is to distinguish between the different levels of law enforcement, and yes, customs is still on the list because you still a snitch and I still can’t comprehend that they fucking murdered ya’ll and I heard an interview where someone else who got snatched up, a woman, a white woman, said the fucking pig Called Renee “That Lesbian Bitch” and I just want to… I just want to say God Bless, you, for being so good to us. I regret that you had to become a martyr and I honor your legacy, and Alex Pretti, your farewell poem to the veteran you lay to rest at the end of December reminded us of the complexity of freedom and provided a bit of context for the fragility of toxic culture that prefers a fragile sense of whiteness while attempting to hijack our capacity to recognize when our rights our being stampeded. Today, we boycott corporations and all sense of the concept of capitalism which promotes imperialism and war against the people. We stay home, while recognizing the power in our dollars. And tomorrow, we will take the streets. We will scream for victory, and we remember, that this entity was created with love for those who came before and continue to fight the good fight. We resist through pain, power, love, lust, and more life. Today, we dream, draft, and foster the blueprint. Written by Imani Jeni, January 30, 2026.